Written by Justin Santoro
1). Swift Buffalo (5-2)
Much like a real buffalo, Ethan is tending to Kiki as if he were a real buffalo during mating season. Male buffalos tend a female by staying between her and the rest of the herd. This is particularly true with Ethan, as not a single person in the BBC has met Kiki. I’m having serious doubts that she is indeed a real person. I digress.
Ethan has the best team in the BBC and its not even close in my opinion. Not sure how this manager has lost at all with nearly 1,000 points for. This roster has no weaknesses. From his QB down to his kicker this roster is solid. If his WR’s stay on par and he can keep a couple backs healthy, he should be on his way to a buy. The only weakness this roster has is that the manager is an asshole. Well done, Swift Buffalo.
2). Super Kamario Bros (6-1)
Things are looking good for Steve in the BBC. One can see this when they look at his bench and see Thielen and JT at the top. Steve is deep in most positions, but he is lacking another solid RB 1. Josh Jacobs has been average of late. Can he turn things around, or will Steve look to be a buyer? I am not sure, but it might not matter as Steve is certainly the most fortunate member of the BBC when it comes to Points Against.
Luckily, Ethan has now made it impossible for anyone to be a buyer that has anything beside shale in between their ears. But Steve may surprise us all and drop some serios dough for some more firepower. Even if he doesn’t, he finds a way to make remarkable teams every year. I think I speak for the entire BBC when I say that it would be nice for Steve to get his name on the Rack!
3). Tom’s Team (6-1)
When Tom isn’t saving lives, he is making love. We all know this because he is certainly not making trades or responding to texts. But Tom doesn’t need to as he sits happy at a record of 6-1. Tom did benefit from a beginning schedule softer than cream cheese, but he has put up the third most points in the BBC.
I have been down on Tom’s Team in recent history, but Hunt is the real mother effing deal, and his WR’s are no joke either. Some issues have surfaced for Tom’s Team as Joe Mixon is likely to be battling injury for the foreseeable future and Sanders is still out. But he has some decent options for RB 2 to streamline in the meantime.
4). Prison Mike (5-2)
Justin enjoyed being anally ravaged this week by Swift Buffalo. And now he is dealing with some injuries which he has been able to avoid until now. Drake went down, Jones is a question mark and he cannot get his shit together at TE. “So double jeopardy, we are fine”. On paper this team looks good… but just like feminism, it looks good on paper, but in reality it’s not as good as it sounds.
His WR core is still good: all put up double dingo’s except for Decaf having a dry spell worse than Steve and I a month ago. If AAron returns healthy, and he can figure out his TE situation, this team should be able to compete with the upper echelon of the BBC.
5). The Cluster Screw (3-4)
I hope Earl does not make as many cluster screws when he day trades on the NYSE as he does when trading in the BBC. The name of Earl’s team has never been more accurate and fitting. This owner never ceases to amaze the entire league, and that is saying a lot considering his past actions. But despite the blunders this manager has made, Earl has somehow put a squad together that can do some damage, upset anyone, and put up big numbers. Earl seems to not have a steady roster, it is sporadic and uncertain. But no one could manage such a situation better than Earl. I would bet on this team to make the playoffs if he decided not to sell. But who knows, Earl may sell his roster before this PR is posted.
6). Yarvard U (3-4)
Stephen has been enjoying the fruits of marriage without children… ahhh what a blissfully beautiful time it is, filled with love making, show watching, sporadic date nights, and the occasional night of naked mud wrestling. Enjoy it before you bring life into the world. You can only screw so many times before you have a cluster of children. Just ask Earl. Stephen is also on the edge of his seat as he awaits the results of the 2020 presidential election. Will Trump be the victor, or will the country elect a person who is seemingly not alive in Joe Biden? Not sure, time will tell.
One thing I am sure about is that Schindler’s team is on the move. He has put together a solid WR core, has a good TE, and a decent RB1/2 in James Connor. If this manager wants to make the playoffs, he is going to need to make some upgrades in the RB department. I honestly think this manager could be sitting above Earl right now in the PR’s but it was close.
7). Full Court Prescott (3-4)
“I’m buying… I’m selling… No I’m buying… No I’m selling” This sums up Josh’s season. I would just sell if I was Josh. Things are not looking good for this manager. Sitting in the bank for the 2021 auction, Josh has 16 dollars. He has spent $184 for 3 wins and 4 losses. He must have missed Peter Brand’s advice from the feature film Moneyball… you should be trying to buy wins not players…
On his IR list he has: Saquan Barkley, Christian McCaffrey, and Nick Chub. None of which he can keep next year even if he wanted to. Zeke can be great… but he has been terrible. Julio was a great addition in the WR department. And Josh completely eviscerated Earl in that exchange. Perhaps the only other bright spot on this roster is the resurgence of old faithful, David Johnson. Old habits die hard and old lovers die even harder, such is the case with Josh and his undying love for DJ. That being said, Josh is one of 4 teams who will be battling it out for a playoff spot. I think he can do it, but unfortunately, he has no more buying power. So what you see is what you get with Josh’s team, unless of coarse he does another deal with Earl. In which Earl will give him the farm for a handful of cat turds.
8). Justy Bugs (3-4)
Grant is currently living a boom or bust life on all fronts. This includes his love life, which is very much a boom on the weekends when he spends his time in the mountains of WV, climbing Mt. Shelby. But he is very much bust during the weeks when he dreams of the sweet mountainous ranges in WV, he so desperately desires. One thing is for sure, Grant needs something to take his mind off of Shelby to keep him flaccid. Lucky for Grant, his fantasy roster should do just the trick.
Though Grant put up 117 against Josh, this team is very boom or bust. He put up 117 but has every capability of putting up 50. And indeed, he has put up numbers in the 50’s on more than one occasion. Grant’s RB’s are suspect, and his WR core has declined with getting rid of Strayfon Driggsy. And now that JuJu is constantly getting double teamed, he is seeing the ball much less. Stay soft, Grant!
9). Yo Adrians (1-6)
Eric is a non-factor this year in fantasy at 1-6. But he is still locking down deals and making the farmers of Delaware and the surrounding areas very happy with his loans and rates. The name of the game for Eric is two-fold. Beat Alex and get as much capital for 2021 as possible. As it stands, Eric is beating Alex in both departments. He has a better record than Alex and has more money than Alex. Well done with making the most of those lemons, Eric!
10). Dixie Normous (0-7)
There is nothing normous about this dixie. Alex has yet to break 100 pts since he put up 120 against Prison Mike and lost. Alex has an impressively terrible team. This is not a surprise considering he sold all his good players. And now he looks like a genius for cashing in big for CMC who is worthless this season. It cannot be fun when your fantasy season is completely moot 7 weeks in. Anyway, have fun coding.