Written by Alex Scott
Hello lads! Hope you’re ready to get stuck in with these PRs! Let’s take a look at the state of the league ahead of our clubs hitting the pitch for week 6!
1). Swift Buffalo (3-2)
Usually, I’ve got about 36 different ways I can think of to criticize Shula’s fantasy ownership. Not so this year! Really hard to find any holes with this team and he’s far better than his 3-2 record. If Michael Thomas stays healthy and stops punching teammates, Shula will be tough to beat. Ethan may soon be able to add “fantasy champ” to his proverbial resume to accompany his other skills of “rock enthusiast” and “compulsive gambler”.
2). Super Kamario Bros. (5-0)
A desert survivor and title contender! Steve is always, always in the hunt. The antithesis of Justin, Steve finds himself in contention every single year. While he’s already blown some of his 2021 load on Jacobs (thank you, Steve!), he may still have another move or two up his sleeve to bolster his roster. If Lamar starts looking more like the QB we saw last year, lookout.
3). Prison Mike (4-1)
For the first time since Nixon was in office, Justin appears to be playoff bound! It’s remarkable that he hasn’t managed to screw this up yet. And not only has he managed to avoid calamity, he’s a legit title contender, having the second most PF in the league. He should be emerging from “the desert” soon, and perhaps he’ll also make an emergence from the fantasy desert later this year.
4). Tom’s Team (5-0)
It’s not clear if Tom even knows that weekly power rankings are released weekly. But nevertheless, he’s 5-0 and still has the same amount of titles as Eric: zero. Tom has an inside track for a bye, and could perhaps position himself well to win a title if he’s willing to make a move in the coming weeks. (Duke Johnson is on the block if you’re interested.)
5). The Cluster Screw (2-3)
Earl is on pace to have 17 children, which will be 17 more titles than Eric has when things are all said and done. Jaws has fallen on some hard times with injuries and a noticeable CEH drop-off as of late. Additionally, Julio Jones has been utterly abominable. But there’s hope: Leonard Fournette is poised to break out! It seriously amazes me how highly this guy continues to get drafted given the absolute dearth of fantasy success he’s had.
6). Full-Court Prescott (2-3)
If ESPN allowed, Josh would roster 16 RBs and leave every other slot open. While I’ve disagreed with a couple of moves KUNU has made this year, he’s certainly had more than his fair share of injury misfortune. It could be a dark couple of years for Josh with little firepower this year and a bleak pecuniary outlook next. On a positive note, he hasn’t changed his slack name in several months, which has made him easier to identify.
7). Yarvard U (2-3)
This was never going to be Stephen’s year, but he has managed to put himself in position to make the playoffs and possibly win a game. It’s a shame he won’t have Eric waiting for him as the 3 seed choke and let him through to the 2nd round.
8). JUSTY BUGS (2-3)
Thankfully, “Musty Bountains” didn’t last long as a team name after a rather flat grand unveiling at the live draft. Unfortunately, it was replaced with the lackluster “Justy Bugs”. Grant’s love life may be on the rise, but his team names and team itself are certainly not. A big matchup with the title-less Eric looms this week. Perhaps a win in that matchup can turn his year around.
9). Yo Adrians (0-5)
Eric has as many titles as the times Grant had had sex: zero. Both are acutely aware of those numbers. The question remains: who will “score” first? My money is on Grant; Eric will go to his grave with zero championships.
10). Dixie Normous (0-5)
This team is primed for a breakout after this past week’s 50-point eruption.