Written by Josh Petrel
1). Grande Se Cador (2-1)
Tom took my diatribe toward him in the Week 1 Power Rankings, rolled them up, and took a giant crap on them while his cat “fox” watched with pleasure. Striking literal gold with Mahomes in the draft, Tom has also found the proverbial “gold” in “LOS” Hyde from THE Ohio State University. Great WR’s and RB’s have given him arguably the best core in the league. We will see if Le’Veon will help or screw him over in the future, adding to his flex…because I know one thing is true: Kenny G is better than Golden Tate and he wont be a viable flex going forward. KENNY G! But Tom has taken over the top spot in the PR for his 2-1 record and scoring over 120 the last two weeks.
2). Captain Hook and Ladder (2-1)
Steve suffered his first loss of the season due to Schindler’s cunning ability to play the right guy. The loss humbles him, but his team still rivals Tom top to bottom. Gurley is a freak, but Sanders has proven to be the pick of the draft for Steve thus far. He has been incredible. Steve hopes, prays, and fasts that Keenan will become the normal Keenan. Now that trade talks with Le’Veon are looming (as they should be with that moron), Steve will have to live with the decision he made to trade James Connor. That choice could make or break his season. If Le’Veon leaves (as he should, because he’s a grade A idiot), this could be one of the most daunting fantasy decisions we have seen in BBC history. History, Eric!
3). The Cluster Screw (2-1)
Jon ‘JAWS’ Earl comes in at #3. After making a big time move in fantasy to acquire AB (Call God), Earl’s team looks STOUT. Earl has a really good team that is poised to put up 90 plus points a week. We will see what moves he makes moving forward as he continues his search for the RB he desires. He will read this and say, “I have Peterson. I don’t need another RB.” We will see how long that lasts. JAWS- next time you see ‘Cousin David,’ tell him we said hello and that no one, gyrates their body like that man does on the dance floor.
4). Dixie Normous (1-2)
Alex comes in at number four this week despite his loss. His roster did not perform well this week, but he made a potential massive upgrade at RB with the Mixon deal. His WR’s wont play that poorly again this year, either. That being said, Julio Jones inability to find the end zone is remarkable. Alex, tied to the Falcon’s success, laments how Matt Ryan consistently chooses every other player for TD’s than Julio. Even so, this team is ‘well-hung’ to rise when needed to lay some pipe.
5). Yarvard U (2-1)
Gary benefitted greatly from his ‘plug and play’ this week. Making incredible decisions, Gary found himself as the first member to beat Steve. Along with this, the best news came from Seattle deciding that Rashard Penny does actually suck and that Chris Carson (32 carries) is their lead back. Major break for him. You couple that with his WR’s lead by JUJU and OBJ…this manager has done very well for himself. Gary looks to be on the move again this week in trade talks as he is always, active.
6). Nick’s Got a Chubb (3-0)
Shula is the only undefeated team, but there are five teams better than him. Which ones you ask? The five I just put ahead of him. Dalvin has been nothing but cause for concern, Crabtree isn’t the best WR in BAL and for the love of God, Amari Cooper cannot be started. Yet, Shula continues to start Cooper and gets away with it. That being said, @CANTGUARDMIKE is a literal freak of nature and Shula rides him so hard. Literally, and figuratively. We will see how this continues, but it would seem this team has been more fortunate the most.
7). I Am Rory (1-2)
#Massive win for me this week as I throttled Justin. The win felt even better because it was Justin. All three RB’s came to play, Kenny G is actually good and David Johnson is getting a new QB to help him move the football. Encouraging signs for me. ENORMOUS matchup for me next week as I play Eric.
8). Yo Adrians (1-2)
Hey dumbass. We have the same record, Kenny Golladay is good and your depth sucks.
9). Prison Mike’s Riot Squad (1-2)
Not a lot of bright spots for Justin. LF has been a tragedy, Keenan is gone and Phillip Lindsey was ejected for punching another human. Outside of James Connor, not a lot to work with one this team. The good news for Justin is that he isn’t the worse team in the BBC and he has the same record as four other managers in the league. Not all hope is yet lost, as he can fight for a playoff spot due to the balance in the current league standings.
10). DUGE HICK (0-3)
Grant’s team is miserable. The only winless team in the league, Grant most likely finds himself preparing for 2019. How did we get to this point you might ask? Well, starting the Bengals D in Carolina… for week 3 would be a start. Then you look at the reprehensible OBJ trade…combine that with some other questionable decisions in the draft- here comes 2019. The good news is that we live in a world where you can trade players for draft picks.