Power Rankings Week 8

“Well, Well, Well, Well, Well, Well. That’s six wells. Its Brittany Bitch, and I am back.” This week of power rankings is brought to you by yours truly- Joshua Darnell Petrel. Please see the below for my blunt, equitable, and just thoughts/rankings for each manager.

1. The Minormous Gelons– Sack continued his league dominance by slaughtering team I Am Rory this week. He also gained the personal satisfaction of beating me, which provides Grant great joy due to his irrational hate for me as a manager for being a “douche.” I still don’t understand it, but that’s okay. Sitting at 6-2 he is tied with Gary for the best record in the heralded BBC. Furthermore, Grant is on pace to break my record (113.3 ppg) for the most points per game in a single season. Here is the thing: this team is the best team and it’s not close. If Zeke is suspended, his roster is still better than yours.
2. YARVARD U– Gary got his 6^th win of the season this year-putting him in a great position for a BYE come playoff time. At 6-2 he is tied with Grant for the league’s best record. Congrats to him as he has clearly made improvements to his managerial style in the 2017 season. Sources tell me he is nowhere near finished when it comes to acquiring additional talent to bolster his roster. Not a huge fan of the move to get Hyde, but received incredible value by getting Gronk and Julio for a 4th. If he can acquire another player and get more from Julio, this team can contend for a title.
3. The Cluster Screw– Well, here we are again with Earl. Earl astounds me in so many ways. But you know what’s not astounding? His love for Merrily- woman of Alaska. From a fantasy standpoint, Earl’s team is really good. You could very easily argue he has the 2^nd best roster in the BBC. Watson is incredible, Hopkins is incredible and the NOLA back field is also really good. Throw Shady in that mix- look out. IMO- this is a team that could make another move to have a real shot at a title. Hats off to Earl, as he would get my vote for MOY through 8 weeks. Screw everyone who voted for him last year though- it made no logical sense.
4. Grande Se Cador– For those of you who don’t know, Grande Se Cador is Spanish for “Big Dreyer.” Tom made this his name in Spanish 1&2 in high school and it has made the very fine transition to the BBC. Another update: Tom and Grace are now married and have moved on from there flirtatious giggling in living room of Entertainment 720. They now live in Durham, NC. As far as Fantasy goes… Tom has an incredible tandem of RB’s and has been getting production out of Landry. Will it continue? If he wants to make a deep run in the playoffs he will certainly need to make another move. Will Tom buy or sell at the deadline? My gut says Todd Gurley goes to another team…
5. Yo Adrians– I’m not really sure if Eric has a “good” team or not. I would argue it’s not very good, but the teams below him blow sack- so Eric rounds out the top 5 this week. Eric has played the right kicker for two straight weeks to give him two wins. He also played Alex and myself the weeks we sold our players for picks… so again, not really sure about this team. The Jay trade to PHI is going to be very interesting. Will Jay turn it around with Carson and company? Before I end, I do want to rip on Eric for stupid moves this year. Missing out on AJ by trading out of the 9-spot in the draft was a horrible move. Howard is good, Jay isn’t good- thanks Eric for helping Grant. Those 15 average WR’s you drafted in rounds 5-6…bad move. Good luck the rest of the way though- I always love a good underdog story.
6. Ring Your Bell– Shula’s team sucks. He needs help at RB2, WR1-5 and flex. CJ Anderson isn’t good. The ARod injury killed Adam’s production and Keenan Allen is bad. I’m thankful he dropped Luck- I’m so tired of hearing about his rostering of Luck from other managers. Here is what Shula should do if he keeps losing: Trade Bell for a high pick. It won’t happen, we all know he’s a huge stalwart. Also- if you are ever interested in buying a jean jacket, Shula knows the market well.
7. Dixie Normous– “I think I am going to win the league this year” were the words quoted to me after the draft lottery in August. Well, my oh my, how the “turntables.” Alex’s year makes 0 sense to me. Why give up everything in ’16 to not do anything in ’17? Looking back, Alex’s very conservative managerial style may have killed his chances this year. He probably watched way too much film from the ’02 Buckeye season when Tressel would punt on 3^rd While it was “early” in the year, if Alex gets AB before Grant…who knows what would have happened. Sad!
8. Captain Hook and Ladder– A very bad team. Got great value back for AB and incredible value for Hyde. BBC members and their wives are continuing to pray for Todd. Also- if I have to root for someone to win a BBC title, I am rooting for Steve. I’m not sure anyone has ever hated Steve in real life or Fantasy football. It speaks volumes.
9. Prison Mikes Riot Squad– I hope Justin is reading this during work hours. Because according to his absurd dramatic text, he’s only available from 8-5. The biggest, most mind-boggling blunder of the year (to me) came with trading the best asset on the trade market to his biggest competitor. In one move Justin took himself out of any sort of contention only to receive a 6^th round pick in return. Trust with other managers appears to go a long way.
10. I Am RORY– His team sucks and is actively trying stay #1 on the waiver wire by playing bad players- suck it Eric. The Todd Gurley trade single handedly killed this team. While it looked great at the time, it haunts me to think that I could have bought a top tier WR with a pick to bolster my roster or have sold TG for a higher pick. What a nightmare. This team looks to “Trust The Process for ’18” by going into the draft with: 1, 2, 3, 3, 4, 4, 5, 5, 5, 5.