Written by Josh Petrel. Another week of fantasy has come and gone leaving members of the BBC either excited or in complete dismay as week 2 of the season provided both excitement and depression.
1). Swift Buffalo (1-1)
Hey Ethan, how are those cold sores? Maybe they got better in Erie, PA. Speaking of Erie, PA…Shula is back from his illustrious and quite possibly, sexually heavy (hopefully not) escapade to Erie, PA. Week 2 gave Shula his first and maybe only loss of the season. He took a surprising loss from Grant (Grant will read this and be happy because he beat the best team…but relax, I’ll get to you in a minute) but still comes in at #1 based on scoring output and overall roster talent. His team has eclipsed 130+ point outputs in each of the first two weeks of the season. I’ll be honest, I never saw this coming because I assumed he would figure out some way to screw up his draft, but that didn’t happen. From top to bottom the best roster in the BBC. Dalvin, Carson, Wilson, Lockett…wow what picks. That being said, he does have injury concerns with Michael Thomas and Davante Adams. The Mike Evans move looks great (currently), but it is hard for me to applaud him as he spent $35 on James Conner (who plays 10 games if he is lucky) on draft night. Sometimes fantasy works in your favor and this is a good example of it. Either way, Shula is the best team as it stands this week.
2). Super Kamario Bros (2-0)
I’ll start by saying that I have Steve at #2 but could easily have put him at #1 as he has scored the most points in the league at 280 and his roster makeup has been great. I lean toward Shula’s team slightly based on his roster and only four less total points (276) than Steve. But easily could be a toss up now that Taylor is the guy in Indy. Moving on…What a first two weeks for Steve! Wow! First, what an approach to the draft. Steve didn’t overspend on any player and waited for talent to open up after the big spenders went all in on players. Secondly, in arguably the best move of the season, he bought Jacobs for an absolute STEAL at $70. Lastly, Steve for the only time in his life received joy from the Marlon Mack injury which has allowed Jonathan Taylor to become the premier back in Indy! Matt Ryan has been great and his WR’s have a chance to put up 12-15 each week. Things are moving in the right direction for this manager. He comes in at #2 in this week’s rankings as he boasts a 2-0 record with strong upside in the coming weeks. Will we see more buying closer to the deadline for this manager? A BBC title is within reach!
3). Prison Mike (2-0)
If Justin was a porn star his name would be: Saddong Hussein or Luke Thighwalker (LOL). Anyways, another good start for Justin. He obliterates me this week and is now 2-0 in the BBC. Let’s stop and take a moment to recognize that if Justin misses the playoffs after starting 2-0 (with really only 7 teams competing in 2020) that maybe he should take a year off. Anyways, Justin had a great draft, and has put up enormous numbers through two weeks. He appears to be tired of getting hit in the face with the lack of playoff talk as he is constantly talking to other managers about players. I personally have never seen Justin as locked in on fantasy as he is right now. Let’s also take a moment to realize that you can be locked in on fantasy and still have a life outside of it (a frequent complaint from this manager). He has two GREAT WR’s and Jones has been incredible. Drake and Gurley certainly pose concerns but it’s not something to lose sleep over as he has DECAF METCALF on his bench. Also, specific shoutout to Justin on spending $126 on Malcom Brown this week (lol). Anyways, a RB upgrade and probably a TE upgrade are in the future for Darth Invader.
4). Team Voldemort (2-0)
I want to start by saying this team name rivals all of Shula’s bad team names as being the worst ever. If Eric has the power to change the team name on the ESPN site, he should enact that power immediately. “Tom’s Team” would be a better name. I digress. Tom made a few splashes in the draft, most of them being negative. The first by spending $85 on Joe Mixon. Yikes. The second was maybe the talk of the draft…asking Eric over the Zoom call if he could rollover his $ to 2021. The answer was a resounding no. As it should be. This isn’t T-Mobile where you can rollover your minutes month-to-month. Tom’s team in a nutshell: average RB’s and 6 startable WR’s for 3 spots. That being said, he finds himself 2-0 after scoring 135 this week. A trade might make sense to upgrade at RB. But he probably won’t make a trade and literally God only knows why. But for now, the deepest roster in the BBC.
5). The Cluster Screw (1-1)
I would have put Jaws ahead of Tom but then his team decided to take the week off. Does anyone get away with more fortune in fantasy than Jaws (maybe Tom)? This week, Jaws saw Brady, CEH, Henry ($90 auction dollars) and Julio COMBINE for 28 total points and he still won. Later in the day Sunday, Earl chose to defend his LF draft pick by letting us all know in Slack about his big week. Interestingly enough, he sat on his bench this week, but congrats Earl. I also wonder if he is concerned with Julio due to Calvin Ridley seemingly being BFF’s with Matt Ryan. That being said, Earl has the talent to win another title if this team fires on all cylinders in any given week. You would think that Julio will figure it out at some point. Grant will want to know so i’ll ask for him: how are the Kincaid women? Side note, I root for the Skins each week as they are littered with Buckeyes. At this point, Haskins is probably better than Wentz and Chase Young is definitely better than any defensive player the Eagles have. Also, Riverboat Ron is better than Doug Peterson. Go Skins, Jaws! Screw Philly!!!!!!
6). Yarvard U (0-2)
A rebound performance from Yarvard U came up 42 points short of almost beating Steve this week. Stephen spent $100 on Nick Chubb on draft night. A bold move to say the least. A frustrating week for him as he saw Edelman, Conner and Boyd COMBINE for 55.5 on his bench. I still have Stephen at #6 despite an 0-2 record and one of the lowest point totals of 176. I think his roster is better than it has performed. He just hasn’t played the right guys or they haven’t performed to their expected level. Can Yarvard U pull another upset similar to the one he pulled last year by beating Eric in the playoffs (suck it Eric)? Tough scheduling might make it hard. Will this manager look to buy more players? Will he look to sell Lamar? Will he trust in his current roster? Time will tell.
7). JUSTY BUGS (1-1)
You could argue that this past weekend was arguably his best weekend in 2020. First, Grant was graced with the presence of his “Boom or Bust” girlfriend of Shelby BALLyard in Dayton, Ohio. From the reports I have heard, it was ALL boom. But hopefully not with your penis! Shula is currently reading this and in his Shula voice saying, “wait, Grant has a girlfriend?!” Also, if you didn’t see, Grant saw some REALLY cool dogs this weekend and he posted those in Slack…so feel free to check those out in the BBC channel (LOL)! Now for fantasy news…To start, we need to address two things: (1) Grant currently owns the title for ‘Worst Fantasy Move Of The Year’ by choosing to not keep Zeke Elliot. And (2) he owns the worst build up / announcement to a fantasy team name of all time. How awkward was that for everyone?! Now that we have that out of the way…what a weekend for Grant ‘Sack’ Kovac! Taking the entire league by surprise he put on a show and defeated Shula. A critical win for Grant as he takes a win and is now a game ahead of Alex and Eric for last place and is tied with me (KUNU)! Josh Allen is solid, Melvin is scoring TD’s and who knows…now he might get $10 from me for out performing me this year! Crazy how quickly things change in fantasy!
8). Full-Court Prescott (1-1)
While Grant had maybe his best weekend of the year…I probably had my worst. I still haven’t heard anything about my interviews (bad sign), Nena and Michael stayed with us this weekend (Lord have mercy), our water heater broke, and my arguably two best players in fantasy both went down. Fuck! But…God is good and he will provide. Not sure he cares about fantasy though, so maybe not in that realm. Anyways…I come in at number at #8 as my roster absolutely blows the sack due to injuries, lack of depth, bad WR’s, etc. I’d love to know the odds of your projected two best players going down in the same week. But, as we all know…”injuries are just a part of fantasy.” Thanks, Eric. I will look to trade: player-for-player deals or money if it’s a good offer. If interested, text, call, message, Snapchat, IG Live me. Here is an example of a bad offer: DK Metcalf for Zeke Elliot (thanks, Justin). Big fantasy decisions ahead for me!
9). Yo Adrians (0-2)
Eric currently sits at #9 as he has a point total of 196.5 (ironically, better than Stephen’s who only has 171. Yikes!). Eric and Alex look to fight one another to avoid a last place finish. Mostert was among the many who seemingly killed fantasy hopes and dreams on Sunday. A blow for Eric…but don’t worry, it is not a big deal. As I am typing this, Doug is still standing outside at Nat’s parents house barking at absolutely nothing.
10). Dixie Normous (0-2)
Bad roster. Doesn’t score points. Didn’t do any fantasy research. He won’t read this.