Written by Justin Santoro
1). Yo Adrians (4-3)
Though this manager does not have the record to reflect it, I rank this team at the top spot going into week 8. It seems that for once in his abysmal fantasy existence, Eric can do no wrong. He put up 142 points this week without his RB1 and RB2. He not only has a powerful running back combo, but easily has the best WR core in the league, possibly the best we’ve ever seen… Outside of Shula obviously. There are currently no holes in Eric’s starting lineup. Will “discount double-check” continue to put up monster numbers, or will his check bounce? Either way, I do not envy the team playing Hoober in week 8. The only question mark for Hoober’s team is if Chubb will be negatively impacted by Kareem Hunt’s return in week 10.
2). Knights of the Night (5-2)
Alex easily comes in at #2 going into week 8. This fantasy owner quite possibly has the best RB core that we have ever seen, and he damn well should after he spent $100 of is auction money to acquire Saquad Barkley. Have fun prostituting yourself to get your money back. Also, there has been a rumor floating around that Alex is going to quit his job as an engineer and become a financial advisor. Let’s pray he is more frugal with his son’s future inheritance than he is with make believe fantasy money. Alex has no holes and could easily be back in the #1 spot next week.
3). Kig Bahunas (5-2)
Grant’s team is similar to his ball sack, large and in charge. I believe Grant can be a contender for the top spot but lacks the elite status that Eric and Alex have. Therefore, Grant comes in at #3 as he bested Justin in an epic battle thanks to Sony Michele. Grant did well to take care of the one spot he really had issues with when he acquired Austin Hooper from Shula for $6, way to give it to Ethan in the tush. Grant’s biggest question mark going forward is his WR core which seems to be boom or bust, he has talent, but needs to play the right guy each week. Grant is currently on a 3 game win streak which will likely be 4 after he’s finished with Tom.
4). Voodoo Mamma JuJu (5-2)
What can anyone really say about Ellis? He is always in the playoff hunt, he always puts a quality team together, and he’s just the nicest guy we all know. Steve’s WR core is certainly lacking especially with JuJu dropping the ball this year, metaphorically and literally, and Engram is unreliable. But he continues to find a way to win. I am not sure what to make about his trade to acquire Bell. The Jets suck something fierce which is a catch 22 for Steve. Bell will get more action than Hugh Hefner on his birthday, but as previously stated, the Jets suck.
5). Prison Mike’s Dementors (4-3)
Justin’s team is not anything to write home about but it continues to produce as the NE D continues to mutilate every team they play. A disappointing loss comes to the 3rd highest score of the week playing the 2nd highest score of the week, but that’s fantasy, stop being a bitch about it. This team struggles with a mediocre flex, and a tight end who gets neglected like a red headed stepchild. Will the NE D continue to put up crazy numbers? Will Brissett be able to score 20 each week? Questions I believe that will make or break this team.
6). Yarvard U (3-4)
With only scoring 54 points this week Schindler find himself in the bottom half going into week 8. Bell has been a bit of a disappointment so he made moves to try and improve there by trading for OBJ and Freeman. He needed to do something with Evans proving himself to be boom or bust and Johnson on the IR. Schindler’s team reflects his attitude having to go weeks without seeing his wife…sad. Rumor has it that Schindler is in the hunt for Dalvin, will Schindler pony up and put his ballz on the table, or will Tom’s asking price be unattainable? Either way, with being 3-4 Schindler needs to make some moves if he wants to make the playoffs. But he has made some moves and his wife is back! So Schindler’s team may be back in the saddle as he himself is back in the sack this week. Congrats!
7). The Cluster Screw (3-4)
Has there ever been a more delusional fantasy owner? No. No there has not. I for one think Earl should keep playing Damien Williams. If you are looking to acquire a slew of top 50 WR’s and RB’s, then you need to talk with Earl as his team is littered with them. The only thing good about Earl’s team was Mahome’s and Ekeler, now that Mahomes is hurt, there really are no bright spots on Earl’s team other than Ekler. And that may backfire as Melvin is back and getting a significant workload. Jimmy laid a golden egg last week, but that is largely due to the fact that AROD scored 10,000 points. Don’t expect Jimmy to produce double digits every week. But don’t worry, Earl has made some moves to acquire the coveted Devin Singletary.
8). Too Many Cooks in the Kitchen (3-4)
Tom scored a WHOPPING 53 points last week, 26 of which came from Dalvin “Big D” Cook. It’s over for Tom. Just give up, and stop being a putts about Dalvin’s value, there is no one dumb enough in this league to pay $100 or more for a single player… Oops… My advice, sell anyone else you can and keep Dalvin for yourself. What will Tom do? Who knows, maybe we will find out in 2 weeks when he gets back to Eric and Schindler with an answer.
9). KUNU (2-5)
Poor Josh, everything he did this year did not work out. He has still yet to see any production from Adams as he suffered turf toe the week he acquired him, Kamara is also nursing injuries, DJ also got hurt after he spent roughly $60 on him… His best player is Russel Wilson, but that won’t be enough. The sad part is that Josh has spent a lot of fantasy auction money, and now all those players he paid dearly for are battling injuries and not worth nearly what he paid for them. Things don’t look great for KUNU this year or the next.
10). #Hustled (1-6)
The only thing that is bluer than Shula’s ballz is his fantasy team. The man who has the best WR core finds himself in the bottom of the barrel this week. Shula has done well thus far to get good value out of his team in preparation for the 2020 auction. He now struggles to realize that his team blows, and Thielen is not a top 10 WR especially now that he is going to deal with a bum hamstring the rest of the season. You should have taken my money when you had the chance. Pigs get fat, hogs get slaughtered.